December 2011
Sometimes it weirds me out that some of you have actual sex with real people.
I could go for a big bowl of spaghetti right now.
I’d like to sit it on my belly and watch a movie.
Either alone or with someone who doesn’t mind the fact that I’m going to let the bits of noodle and sauce that fall out of my mouth sit on my chest until I’m done eating.
The moment you criticize pajama jeans, it’s clear to me you don’t know fashion.
buddhaspalm asked: hey man. dont catch AIDs
http://fearthenoob.tumblr.com/ask
Talk to me while I pack.
Packing for Vegas.
Shirts, check.
Pants, check.
Undies, check.
Socks, check.
Shoes, check.
Wad of cash, check.
Ok, looks like I got everything.
Do people still use fake pictures on the internet?
Is that still a thing?
I think I’m a pretty cool dude.
I’m pretty sure.
I wonder if everyone else thinks I’m cool.
They probably don’t.
Oh god, what if I’m not cool at all?
What if people make fun of me for not being cool behind my back?
Oh my god.
I need to buy some Supreme gear.
Then I’ll be cool in everyone’s book.
No doubt about it.
Open Eyes (demo) - The xx
Do people still say homie?
y/n
I get that you’re in a relationship now, and I wish you the best…
But could you at least post a pic of your tits being grabbed from behind by your new boyfriend?
Gimme something.
Dad: We should play more computer games with each other.
Me: Ok.
Dad: What's your Steam username? I'll add you to my friends-list.
Me: I don't think...
Dad: C'mon, what's your Steam username?
Me: Ok, it's...
Dad:
Me:
Dad:
Me: It's buffguy.
Dad: Like buff? Like you're buff? You're not buff.
Me: I know that.
lol
http://fearthenoob.tumblr.com/ask
nbaoffseason:
Look at this Norris Cole fan
(h/t Ale Melendez)
Girl: Hey.
Me: Yo.
Girl:
Me:
Girl:
Me:
Girl:
Me: Hey.
Girl: What's up?
“Who? Me? I’ve never committed a foul in my life.”
– Every NBA player
*BUYS $300 PAIR OF SNEAKERS*
*STEPS IN MUD*
AH SHIT!
*DIPS IN TO SAVINGS TO BUY REPLACEMENT PAIR*
*FAILS TO PAY RENT*
*GETS EVICTED*
*MOVES BACK IN WITH MOM AND DAD*
WELL AT LEAST I GOT THESE DOPE SICK KIX FOR REAL.
*STEPS IN MUD*
Really hard to tell who’s a lesbian and who’s not a lesbian on Tumblr.
(An in-depth write up of my last sexual encounter)
[pic of weed]
Weed.
#weed
One time I had a dream that I had a baby but it wasn’t a human it was a dog kinda like Brian Griffin so it wasn’t that bad.
Trimmed my beard back so I can have my preferred ~5 days growth by the time I get to Vegas.
Girl: I think you could be attractive if you shaved and wore something other than jeans and t-shirts.
Me: Well that's not happening.
Just walked in to the family room.
My sister is in there crying her eyes out.
“This is the saddest movie I’ve ever seen,” she says.
“What is it?” I reply.
“The Help. They used to be so fucked up to black people. *wipes tear from cheek*”
With haste, I left the room holding the plastic candy cane filled with Rolos I had been looking for.
Let’s have a chat.
http://fearthenoob.tumblr.com/ask
Depositing checks via my iphone will never not feel like some futuristic shit.
Watchvenusaurphobia:
I see the neighbors downstairs downloaded Skrillex’s new EP
You da one that I wank about all day-eh-eh.
“I don’t think I’ll ever put him in pillow form. It’s...”
– My sister on her new Pillow Pet
This is the exact time, if I was 6, I’d be laying in bed wide awake.
Slowly getting more and more pissed off because I wanted to open gifts so FUCKING bad.
I’d actually like, clench my fists really tight and pray that my parents would wake up and tell me it’s time to open presents.
One time this gross girl tried to kiss me under some mistletoe and I was like “Ugh, ew, you’re so gross stop it stop it now” but she didn’t stop.
Luckily she only got my cheek.
This is how I know what rape feels like.