January 2012
Today I met a girl with the worst weave of all time, but man she was so fine though.
I would have had no problem at all looking past her poor hair purchase, if, you know, she wanted to boink or something.
Sometimes I wish I could fart on command so I could record it and use it as replies to some of your posts.
I think I have a pretty ok smile, ya know?
But as soon as a camera is facing my direction it turns in to maybe the most retarded smile of all time.
Even more retarded than actual retarded people smiling.
I love a girl in a nice jersey dress.
Mmm mm.
1 tag
If you get offended by anything on the internet…
*farts*
kermitthefrrog:
So i’m submitting my paper to my teacher on the submission website and i clicked the wrong file to send her.
I sent her this gif on accident.
Anonymous asked: post a picture of yourself.
There are a significant number of girls I know from high school who have been pregnant more times than I’ve had sex.
2 tags
Me in my head: Ni**a...
Me out loud: Dude...
This was back in like… 2007.
When I was just a young, up-and-coming internet fella.
I was gonna be the next big thing until I hurt my knee, then all my dreams of being an internet star came crashing down.
You need 2 good knees to make it on the internet and that’s just how it is.
5 years later, here I am…
No girls, no internet fame, no nothing!
*jumps off Golden Gate*
I used to bag internet girls all the time, man.
Idk what happened.
I’ve lost my mojo.
One time this girl took her shirt off right in front of me.
Her boobs were so perfect.
My jaw almost hit the floor.
She was a stripper.
I was in Las Vegas.
Hi, my name is Daniel and my favorite color is heathered gray.
I enjoy going to sleep in the morning and waking up in the afternoon.
I’m not too good with compliments.
Bitches (nice ladies) be like “dang, you so fine” and I be like “wtf wrong with this chick”.
Not really, but ya.
I just never know what to say afterwards.
Thanks?
I know?
You too?
Meh.
Friend: Hey, can I borrow your car tomorrow to pick my brother up from the airport?
Me: Yeah, sure. Can you drive stick?
Friend: No...
Me: Ah, man, bummer.
Me in my head: Pussy.
Me: Sorry, dude.
hehe im such a quirky girl my socks never match awkward~~
1 tag
Last night I had a dream about my future life. I was in my apartment with my long time girlfriend and we were eating dinner, I think spaghetti, it was real delicious. She probably made it because she rules. Anways, later we to a little party/chill sesh with some friends and drank some beers and she got a little drunk and wanted to go home and have sex with me so we did then after doing the sex we...
It’s only 1:40 and I already hate everything.
Usually that doesn’t happen until at least 3.
Someone get me like 100 new followers.
Tired of you fuckers.
I’m taking way better care of my hair this time around.
It’s gonna be luxurious as fuck when it’s long again.
