February 2012
For Valentine’s day, I want my girl to buy me a flesh light.
Now I’m listening to Yelawolf.
Damn, I’m fuckin’ drunk.
Ugh.
I drove home feeling fine and now that I’m home I feel drunk as hell.
I feel like I’m making tons of typos but I’m not.
Hello?
In my 8th grade yearbook I won “best smile”, lol.
I think they gave it to me because I lost “most athletic” to this stupid faggot Andre 3 years in a row.
I didn’t even smile in the picture because I’m cool as shit.
Monta Ellis, not an allstar… again…
Despite being 6th in the NBA in scoring (22.6 ppg), 17th (and #1 among all SG’s) in assists (6.3 apg), 10th in steals (1.76 spg) and 5th in minutes (37.9 mpg).
Lol, the hell.
What’s a guy gotta do?
I wouldn’t want to be called the cutest black girl.
Not because I’d be insulted, but because that’d be kinda weird.
WatchJustin Vernon & The Roots preformed an 8 minute rendition of “Perth” on Fallon.
Don’t mind if I do…
Do dudes ever have like… those huge 5 inch areolas?
Or is that just a woman thing?
I’ve never seen a dude with ones like some of these pictures online.
I really just want an internet girl who legitimately enjoys showing me her tits and ass.
That’s it.
Omg, I’m so glad I don’t get the Asian glow.
Wow.
My friend has it so bad.
1 beer and his whole body is splotchy red.
It’s not even that he has a low tolerance or anything either.
He just gets so red.
It’s hilarious but it also sucks for him, I kinda feel bad.
Sorry, Brandon.
Dang, I only got this 1 medium size tortilla.
How I’ma make a quesadilla with that?
Ah man, shit man.
daniel
22/m/CA
nudes s2r
I never really had a peach fuzz stage.
I just woke up one day in my junior year of high school with full on man stubble.
Let me watch you do boring, every day things on cam so I know it’s real.
I (my tumblr posts) just want to be loved (liked, by you, you hot ass bitch).
I hope you step on a lego barefooted.
Yo, I’m not feelin’ that acupunctured asshole, for real.
Anyone who has ever played a video game knows that jumping makes you run faster.
You should change up which pocket you keep your phone in often.
So your brain doesn’t get stuck in a pattern.
That way you won’t get Alzheimer’s and you won’t turn in to the most annoying person in your family.
1 tag
bosnia-and-herzegovina:
I wish I could go back to high school with the knowledge I have now.
Man, that’d be so much fun.
I would have banged so many chicks.
Since now, at my advanced age, I know that chicks actually like sex and blog about it like 24/7…
When I was in high school I was pretty sure girls only had sex because guys wanted to.
I mean who would want a weird ass fleshy rod anywhere near their...
I’m almost 23…
I should have a job, huh?
I should not be spending 10 hours a day on the internet, huh?
Damnit, man.
what it iuh, ho?
awassup?
Masturbating because you’re bored…………
Sex is cool.
I like watching people have it.
I hate so many people, man.
Ok, not hate.
But if I never had to see them or hear from them or see their shit on my dashboard again that’d be cool.
Yeah.
Ok.
*eats apple slice*
I’m not gay.
I promise.
I have a nice camera.
I’m a model.
Wish I had a cool name.
One that garnered instant respect.
Something like…
Dre’Quan.
Daniel is just so boring.
Not included in that picture are my spiked baseball bat and bolt cutters.
I want to get married so I have someone who has no choice but to be the person to drive me to the doctor when I need to get a colonoscopy at age 50+.
One time my white ass mom said Manny Pacquiao was one of my dad’s “tribesmen”.
Everyone from California wants to go to New York.
Everyone from New York wants to go to California.
I hope you all get in planes at the same time and they all collide, mid-air, in the middle of the country.
Stop auto correcting “dick” to “dock”.
I almost never text about my dock.
When I was 13 I went to Hawaii with my family.
I was so excited.
So excited in fact that I broke my managed to break my collar bone literally 2 days before we left.
I still went, but all I could do was sit in an inner tube in the pool and paddle in circles and get tan as hell.